Seven Tips For Navigating Painful Transitions

Recently, I began a new season of life. Without going into great depths about the messy situation, I will say that my recent experiences have included a painful transition forward into the next things God is calling me to do. But with this alteration has also come much thought about what it means to navigate a painful transition well, for the glory of God.

Have you had difficult transitions in your life before? If so, here are seven tips I hope will minister to you and give you hope as you look ahead.

1. Reflect on God's sovereignty over your life story

Whenever we find ourselves moving into new territory that we did not plan to traverse, it can cause us to reflect on our life story. Maybe you're even tempted to recall many painful events that have occurred over the course of your existence and bask in the ache of it all. But the truth is, even when we are grieving, sad, experiencing loss, or harmed by others, our Good and Loving God is still in control and is sovereign over our life story. No transition -- no matter how hurtful, unexpected, or unwanted -- takes our God by surprise. He is guiding the unfolding details of our lives in accordance with His eternal plan. The simple fact that we even exist at all is a testament to His presence with us. 

"Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created" (Revelation 4:11).

We live in a world impacted by sin and the fall of man -- and thus, every person to ever live, since Adam and Eve, experiences suffering. Therefore, closing one chapter of your story and moving into the next isn't always a perfectly happy adjustment. Even so, in knowing Jesus Christ -- the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8) -- we can find healing from the wounds we all experience in a broken earth. God's sovereignty gives us stability in the unknown. Because our trustworthy, kind, thoughtful, and perfectly just God is King of the universe, we can find rest for our souls even when we encounter an unexpectedly painful transition.


2. Do not fear man

“I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mere mortals, human beings who are but grass, For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—the Lord Almighty is his name. I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand—I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, ‘You are my people'" (Isaiah 51:12,15-16).

Whatever role people may have played in causing you hurt during this life change, know they do not have the final say over your life. Scripture exhorts us to fear God and not man. As we just discussed above, it is God who is sovereign, not people. It is God who is in control, not fallen human beings who perhaps want us to experience pain. It is God who is guiding your life, not the decisions of those around you. I love these words from Corrie ten Boom: "Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future only He can see." We know that even the most trying challenges we face are circumstances that exist not to create the fear of man in our hearts but to increase our fear of God, who works all things together for our good (Rom. 8:28).


3. Do good

When you face an unexpected loss, it can be tempting to act out of bitterness, but God calls us to respond differently to the suffering we face. 

"Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good" (1 Peter 4:19). 

We are commanded to do good amidst our suffering. So although your heart might be aching with uncertainty and pain, God is still able to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Walking closely with the Lord Jesus results in our lives being marked by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control (see Gal.5:22-23). No Christian exhibits these fruits perfectly -- this is a fallen world, after all -- but as we grow in our personal walks with Jesus, we will be increasingly marked by the fruit of the Spirit.


4. Turn to the Canon of Scripture for Comfort, Healing, and Meaning 

Ultimately, in order to navigate painful life transitions well, we need God's Word -- all sixty-six books of it. This means that even if we're enduring a low valley, we need to be progressing through reading the entire Bible -- setting aside time daily to know God more through His written testament. Not only should we read God's Word, though; we also need to study it and meditate on it often. God uses our devotional life with Him to pour strength into us and transform us more into His likeness. Don't allow what may be the business of a tumultuous season to keep you out of the Bible. Even when time in God's Word doesn't feel magnificent, the Holy Spirit is still using our time in the Bible to grow us spiritually. Do not give up your daily pursuit of the Word when you feel weary, but recognize your increased need for wisdom.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105).

5. Remember other Christians who have gone before

Sometimes, the presence of suffering in our lives feels like a dreary storm cloud settled over us, not soon to pass. It can seem like a brutal season of life is going to last forever, and we may not be able to grasp what good is coming out of it. We get very "zoomed in" to the present moment when we are carrying something heavy, but when we remember that God has worked powerfully through millions of lives and millions of stories of suffering, we gain a new and refreshing perspective. What matters most is that God is glorified for all eternity. When we glance back at history and see some of the incredible ways God has accomplished His Work, it can provide hope for us as we endure the challenges of the day that even our most difficult moments are being worked together unto that end.

I've been really blessed by the testimonies of Christians from history. Consider picking up one of these books:

- "God's Smuggler" by Brother Andrew
- "Evidence Not Seen" by Darlene Dibler Rose
- "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom


6. Develop your prayer life

In Psalm 55:22, we are commanded to: 

"Cast your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you." 

Hard times can become a catalyst for prayer. God is a compassionate, engaged Father to us who is moved at a heart level over the suffering of His children. We can always approach Him when we are downcast. God never requires that we "get it together" before coming to him; no, He comprehends our weakness fully and does not despise our dependence upon Him. Jesus loves when we draw near to Him. Scripture says: "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8). Open up your heart to your dependable Savior who has borne your griefs and carried your sorrows (Is. 53:4); bring Him your every desire, hurt, and need. "Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:8).


7. Consider the Magnitude of the One you Worship

In the book of Daniel, we read one of God's Names: The Ancient of Days. 

“As I looked, thrones were placed, and the Ancient of Days took His seat; His clothing was white as snow, and the hair of His head like pure wool; His throne was fiery flames; its wheels were burning fire. A stream of fire issued and came out from before Him; a thousand thousands served Him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before Him" (Daniel 7:9-10a).

That is the kind of God we serve -- one who holds sway over the entire universe. 

God is bigger, greater, and stronger than every painful situation we ever experience. When we pause to remember the magnitude of our powerful God, who holds sway over all things, we can approach change well, with confidence that the Ancient of Days remains in charge over it all.

If you're reading this post, just hoping for some support in the midst of a transition that hurts your heart, know that I am praying for you. You aren't alone in this difficult season, and the God who has seen you through every trial of your past will see you through this hardship as well.

"Do not let yourself be thrown down or give in to despair. Stand evenly at the will of God...For after winter comes summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies" (Samuel Rutherford).